Okay, on to this profile. How did you learn to sling coffee drinks?
My first awesome temp job last year was folding and filing fabric samples, which was about as soul-deadening as it gets. I begged the agency for an office job and they told me they had a phone-answering job... which turned outturned out to be a kitchen-stocking job. But I learned how to make espresso and foam milk, which I had no idea as the equivalent of a masters in the barrista game. From there, Jedi Barristas Jon and Michael continued my training. Michael even grew a beard and started talking in an English accent. But unfortunately my training was incomplete and I'm currently being seduced by the power of the dark side. And by the dark side, of course, I mean Café Etc. across the street.

Do you think you can resist?
With the help of many ewoks, yes. Also, that place sucks.

Would this be a good place to mention that the views expressed by Dan Tobin do not reflect the views of Karma Coffeehouse?
Either Dan Tobin.

Okay, that was a delightful tangent and all, but let's talk coffee. You like coffee, huh?
So so much. And yet somehow I've been drinking less since I started working at Karma. I guess it's like that Seinfeld where he dates the masseuse but he never gets any massages. Actually, it's not all that much like it. But you see why I bring it up.

Trying to fill space?
More or less. More.

What's your favorite drink to make?
I like making cappuccinos - I foam a good milk. Also, I'm trying to develop a Laurinoccino to reflect Karma barrista Michael Laurino's Italian heritage. It's one part espresso to three parts marinara; a "Dirty Laurinoccino" is that plus meatballs. And a shot of caramel. So far it's still in the prototype "joke" phase, but I think with the proper funding, it can go places. Perhaps it can one day be a funny joke.

How do you think Karma has changed since you came aboard?
A lot more MC Hammer is being played. Ditto John Lee Hooker, the New Pornographers, and Digital Underground. Also, exactly $20 seems to be missing from the register every time I finish a shift.

Any leads?
I set up an 800 number with the same people who did one for OJ.

Do you feel closer to Karma now that you work there?
You know, I've thought of Karma as "my place" for a long time. I knew the owner from way back when, I've put on 67 comedy nights there, I helped plan and host the first anniversary party, I've had a mailbox for more than nine months. Karma was MY place, man. Now I can see how Karma belongs to a lot of people, and at first I wanted to dismiss them. After all, deciding a place is yours is just selfish; the only person who can rightly say it's their place is Mike Duffy's because he built and nurtured it. But really, Karma is everyone's place. It belongs to anyone who performs at the open mic, to the guy who buys a small coffee every Sunday after the farmer's market, to the homeless kid who needs Internet access, to the comics with Comedy Central specials who like the vibe of the room, to the regulars who chat up the counter help and the regulars who don't. Karma wouldn't exist without Mike, but it really wouldn't exist without the people who love it and embrace it.

Hey, is that freedom rock, man? Yeah, man. Well, turn it up, man!
I'd tell you to shut up but since I am you, I can make you ask me a final question and be done with it.

So, any final thoughts?
Come visit me during my shifts. I'll make you a drink with extra lovin'. And there's already a fair amount of lovin' in there to begin with.


- As told to Dan Tobin, with additional reporting by Dan Tobin. More Dan Tobin-related stuff can be found at...

I stayed there for over 365 days, hoping that all of that time put in would show that I am capable of doing way more than answering the ten calls a day that this particular producer received. I will never forget the day that catapulted me into the full-on quarter life crisis. I e-mailed my boss, telling him about my frustrations and telling him how I was capable of doing so much more than sitting and answer his phone that never rang. This led to an actual sit-down meeting with him…and I heard the words that I dreaded- “I can’t promise you that you will ever get promoted. You are a good assistant, and that’s what I need.” It was as if he slapped me across the face. I had put on a happy face for the past year when I hated, HATED, the job - All for nothing.

It was that day that I changed my outlook on life. I would no longer stay at a job if I was unhappy. Hell, I would no longer do anything in life if I was unhappy. Life is short. I had just “wasted” a year of it, waiting for something better to happen, all while depriving myself of what I wanted and needed to be happy. I rarely took time off because I felt guilty and was made to feel that the office couldn’t run without me. Having only a couple of three day weekends over the course of a year doesn’t constitute a vacation. I would change my ways.

So, at the time, I was 24. By my own high standards, this meant that I was failing at making it big in Hollywood. I know that 24 isn’t old, but I had very unrealistic expectations of myself and of how the industry really worked. I had always dreamt of being a producer by then. The thing that was difficult for me to grasp, however, was that I wasn’t completely sure that working in “the industry” was what I really wanted to be doing anymore. And to put even more pressure on myself, I felt like I was too old to be starting a whole new career. I was so fearful of being seen as a “quitter”. I was raised with tremendous amounts of guilt for wanting to quit something. - So, now what? I wasn’t meeting my outrageously high expectations of myself, and I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to keep trying.

Feeling completely lost, I decided to work freelance jobs in television and leave my assistant days behind me. Working job to job, I didn’t feel so trapped and could make time for vacation and travel. This first step was amazing. It made me feel like I was in charge of my own destiny. I worked when I wanted to, and for more money than I made at my steady desk job! I got to travel with these news jobs too, which was the icing on the cake!

While my newfound freedom has been great, I am still feeling torn and in my “crisis” and I’ll be 26 years old very soon. I’m still working in television, but my current job is more long term than those of the past year. I feel like I’m in the beginning stages of getting stuck again and I must act soon. I struggle because it’s slowly becoming clear to me that my “passion” isn’t making television anymore. Yes, I like it, but I don’t live for it.

Hollywood, especially, is one industry where luck counts and bullshit wins. I’m learning that I will have many careers in my life and that I shouldn’t put so much pressure on myself. I know a multiple career concept is unfamiliar to our parents’ generation, but…to me, it’s the only way to be happy. Why should I choose what I want to do for the rest of my life at the age of 21 when I’ve just left college? Can I have more than one “passion” in life? Answer: “Yes!” It has taken me several years to fully comprehend this concept. And I can also quit something if it’s not right for me. There is no shame in that.

Currently, I feel like I may be on my way out of the crisis. Each day, I focus on what makes me happy. I’m learning to live my life for me- not for childhood dreams, not for my dad who passed away with whom I shared those dreams, not for friends and their expectations- just for me. To me, being happy is feeling in control of my own life and not letting my career, my friends, or my family choose what I do.

I recently read a quote- “Life isn’t about finding yourself; Life is about creating yourself.” This quote is helping me as I find my way thru life and as I start to recognize myself as an adult. Also I believe, that just because I have more responsibilities, it does not mean that I have to sacrifice my wants and needs just because I am an adult.

I’m a firm believer that we can have everything in life. For all of my confusion and uncertainty that I’ve gone thru during the past two years of the quarter life crisis, I have learned the following…Do what makes you happy. Live with no regrets. Some people’s childhood dreams may be their life passion…but, I’m an example of that not being the case. I have struggled with holding onto that idea when all I want to do is let go. If anything, the constant inner struggle of the past two years has finally made me see that it’s okay to change your mind while traveling your life path.

I’m still lost in terms of where my life is headed and what I’ll be when I “grow up,” but I’m starting to see that my being lost is okay. I’ve determined this journey of trying to figure things out is what life is made of…and now I’m enjoying the trip!

Hmm. Why though? I work at something that takes all my time and pays me next to nothing. Well, I guess because I'm doing something I own. I'm not just talking about a bricks and mortar establishment. I'm talking about my life. I own the hours that I keep. It starts and stops with me. A concept that sounds scary, because- it is scary. I mean what would you do with your time, if you made the time to do what you wanted?

I believe that success should be measured by a personal happiness everyday. Not by a wallet or bank account. (Neither of which I carry around with me.) I say don't measure me by my car or my house, my vacations or education. Judge me by my contributions to society. That may sound lofty but it's not. My contributions to society are what I personally give of myself and that self is honesty and interest in others. My goal is do what makes me happy as long as I'm not hurting anyone in the process. I believe that if I give by Creating, give by Entertaining, then the World will see a better part of me and the World will be better as a result. Further more, I believe that we should ALL be in that business. We should all be in the business of giving each other pleasure, on whatever level that may be.

We enter this Reality doing just that. From the moment we are born pleasure abounds us. Mom, Dad, siblings, cousins, friends and the list goes on. Everybody is happy to see a newborn baby. Why is that? I suspect it's because of the innocence, of the potential that child is born with. The Universe is theirs for the taking. It's really inspiring. But somewhere along the way we develop expectations of what that child can or should do. We think he will write great essays or lead an army or heal people, fight for the under dog, teach. Whatever. All those good things would be just great if only he or she hadn't chosen to be a muralist instead. I mean who can support a family on a muralists pay?

Exactly. All of a sudden that newborn baby has made decisions to do what he or she wants. How shameful. How disappointing. Disappointing, I guess, because he let down all those expectations: expectations that weren't his. Which brings me to another thought.

What exactly are expectations? Merriam-Webster says, "to look forward, to anticipate." I think it's healthy to have expectations of enjoyment, but no so healthy to have expectations of sadness or regret. However, I also believe that expectations, can 9 times out of 10, be disappointing. So what's the point? Why expect anything? If there's any thing in life that is MOST certain, it's that Life Is Uncertain. At no point can we avoid a future that is untold. So what's the alternative to no expectations?

Hmm, I suppose living in the Now. Doing what makes me happy is the best alternative to living in a future that has yet to come. It doesn't matter to me if people around me don't like what I do. That's okay. They don't have to do it. (For that matter they don't have to read it.) They can do what makes them happy. That's what makes life so damn nice. We are in control of our own happiness. I know Life is not all cherries and gum drops. In fact it's often not either. So why not be doing something I like and not worry if someone else will care?

In the end I guess, I see it this way. I wake up every morning looking forward to the day. I do this because I am in-charge of my time and of my life. I think about the usually things everybody worries about, Money, Time, Happiness. Sure occasionally I worry, but then I look around. I realize I have a roof over my head and friends to invite under. And that's the real Truth. Not false hopes of grandeur or "financial freedom" (whatever that means.). As a result, I'm prepared for anything. I lead a life that has no expectations, which in turn provides for endless opportunity. What's really interesting, even if I didn't have a roof over my head, my friends don't change and if they do, they're not my friends. So am I successful, I wonder, aloud? Yeah. I think so. Is this newsletter going to be successful? Who knows, but I'm happy doing it.